FEDERATION of VERY WARM WATER DIVERS

LAST BREAKING NEWS!!


Dr. Dipl. Ing. Heisswasser, three weeks in Malta...
Qawra, Malta, September 20th, 2018, from our special reporter.



Dead end street in Rabat

Finally, the underwater camera was broken at the beginning of this holiday. At the end Heisswasser bought an Intova CP9 with a waterproof casting for a cheap price of ¤ 125 Euros. Unfortunely, Heisswasser made only a few pictures, because a slippery in Cirkewwa... without no warning. Heisswasser did take a picture there of a food stall, when staffmember Alex saw later that the elbow of his arm was bleeding. After carefully inspected the wound, they came to the conclusion that some stitches were needed. In Mosta hospital they convinced that for 1 week NO diving was allowed. Fine. What Heisswasser did do next? He decided to visit some cities, Valetta, Mdina and Rabat. In Valletta he went to the war museum, where he makes a photo of the bell of the Maori who sanked in the Great Harbour in WW2. Further, he did go to Mdina, a former capital where the Grand Master ruled and still buried. And the last one, Rabat. Some interested pictures a taken, see f.e. Impression 4


Malta, revisited
Qawra, Malta, September 10th, 2017, from our special reporter.



Main squire in Quwra

A short notice. Through some private problems, our president didn't dive for more than 4 years. But know, things have changed... Before he dived, a regulator was checked as a most important issue, so that was done. Only the BCD and zipper of the boots didn't done and that was a fault. By the first dives the BCD was leaking and the boots automatically unzipped in the fins. After Derek looked at it, an used released-valve was stated and a new boots were bought. Now, it did begin. Due to the moisture in the underwater camara, only a few pictures were taken, see Malta 17. Btw, it was an adventure to swim here. the crystal clear water with wrecks and fishes...


President Eastwood visits Sao Miguel, Azores
Ponta Delgada, Sao Miguel, September 29th, 2013, from our special reporter.

This year, our President Bill Eastwood did go to Azores. He raced with a rented car throughout Sao Miguel. It was a wonderful experience. Below you see an abandoned hotel..



Abandoned hotel

For some reason it was completely deserted. Maby it's had to do with the concrete. For a hotel this not nice and can give a crack in the concrete. For other fascinating things, please go the link Pictures, Impression3. For the matter of underwater pictures, it's was a completely disaster. Just 4 hours for his flight should departed, he got a email from the dive-centre that the boat was broken down. If he can go later, about 3 days, for a boat trip. For the president there was no time anymore to change a dive-centre. So, he agrees. At the time they had collect him, nothing happened. I was sitting there for 1,5 hours. The next day, he was going to the dive-centre. They were saying, a guide was waiting for more 1 hour in the hotel. Later it appeared, that the guide was in the wrong hotel. The next day, Saterday, he was the only diver, so the boat was called off. He could on Sunday be a part of a bunch of divers. He again, agrees. On Sunday, the guy who is gone pick him up, is ½ hour too late. The next day, the guy was 20 minutes too late. On Tuesday, the rented car arrived. So, he didn't go. For the last day of diving, he wanted to cross with his car the island, but is giving them a chance. For more than ½ hour he is waiting for them. But again, the first dive is repeated. That was it for the president. No more dives anymore. Two days later he payed the dives. For a packet of 6 dives, the pay was 230 Euros. After this misfortune, the underwater camera had also a defect. A red light was constant on and off blinking. He couldn't make a normal photo. Only when he standstill for 2 minutes, finally a photograph could be made. Anyway, some pictures can be seen in Pictures, Azores 2013. For the rest we leave a message to the president. President addressed : "I never go this dive-centre anymore, when I'm going to San Miguel. The dive-centre has great website, but that's all. I choose another one.."


Dr. Dipl. Ing. Heisswasser visits Canary Islands, La Palma
Santa Cruz, La Palma, September 30th, 2012, from our special reporter.

In this case, Heisswasser was visiting La Palma, the green isle of the Canary. Because Heisswasser was on a trip of 3 weeks, a car was rented to explore the island. In Impression2 you can see a part of it. In Puerto de Naos he saw something strange, a street-lamp enlightened the see... Probably the man was drunk who placed the bulb there.



Boozy man

Anyway, on regard to diving, the East side has the most opportunities to dive, so Heiswasser selected a dive center there. Underwater there were a lot of murays, salema schools and more underwater creatures. Quoting Heisswasser.."This is for the FVWWD a brand new island. Most probable we go again to La Palma!"


President Eastwood again visits Malta...
Qawra, Malta, September 29th, 2011, from our special reporter.

It was already a time ago, but our President was going to visits the FVWWD department Derek Chircop, the Course Director of Malta. I heard that our Derek setup a new dive center in Bugibba, near to Qawra. Together - with the Course Director UK, Pete 'Terror' Nixon - he had takenover a diveshop from somebody who want to stop with it. Here you see the dive center...



FVWWD Dive Center, Bugibba, Malta

For the rest, everything going alright. In the Meliehha Bay, Eastwood were visiting Pippo, a cargo ship that was sunken. Why, nobody knows. When he was going in the machine room, he was attended to a floating torch who this time wasn't floating at all, he just stay there! Eastwood addressed : "Maybe it has something to do why the ship was sunk. It was going down.... with no clues".


Bonaire, a call of the President...
Kralendijk, Bonaire, June 6th, 2011, from our special reporter.

During the visits of the President, the cloudy and no sunlight broughted a rainy day of his appearance. More of 14, from together 16 days, it brought this gruesome days. Above that, when the evening started, ten millions of mosquito's trying to rip our limbs. With the dive planner it was also the same thing. On the boat he first said where the divemaster was heading, but when the President going down, he wasn't there at all. Later when the President was on the ship again, he tried to confuse him with opposing, strange language. Later, when he was leading the dive, he snatch suddenly underwater the President. For him, the President gave the corals a tough treatment!



An intermittent gull Maxime, who has enough of divemasters, Kralendijk, Bonaire

This is completely wrong. The President come only light in touched with the corals, if there was a really a coral. But anyway, he got his revenge! He followed the President for a long time when he was shooting pictures. A last final word from our President, the second time when he was there : "This brother is completely wrong. I didn't touch the corals... I don't go to this diveclub ever again. They can find a schoolboy to order around..." A fair but reasonable answer.


 Dr. Dipl. Ing. Heisswasser visits Menorca....
Son Bou, Menorca, July 10th, 2010, from our special reporter.

Our beloved maritime researcher finally visits Menorca. But is was, for a time, its last trip. After his home coming he woke up during the night and noticed that his right side of his body was paralysed. What a fucking hell. He was trying to get up, but everything fails...



Son Bou Scuba at good times, Son Bou, Menorca

In the morning, at last the supervisor called on his phone and observed his troubled language. She immediate called an ambulance and after three weeks in the hospital, he was home again. From that stage it become nearly 9 months to go on a new dive trip. Unfortunately, the smoking of Heisswasser was sincere abandoned. A small leak will sink a great ship... For the rest, you can admire the underwater photos in the pics...


 Divecenter gets official status of FVWWD resort!
Crete, Plakias, September 24th, 2009 from our special reporter

For only a second time in her long history the FVWWD has awarded a divecenter with the status of an official FVWWD resort. This prestigious award received divecenter Dive2gether on the island of Crete. The President praised the hospitality, warmth and professionalism of the divecenter in a short speech.



Dive manager Paul Koblens (middle) and General Manager Rein Koblens (right)
receive the eagerly wanted FVWDD-cap out the hands of our beloved President.

Comment of the thrilled management "Since we started here we have been fighting to live up to the standards of FVWWD. This award is the final recognition that we've done our work very well. We are extremely proud that we have received this prestigious price"

For sure, well done ladies and gentleman....


Maritime researcher of the FVVWD discovers Crete!
Crete, Mirthios, September 21st, 2009 from our special reporter

The alter ego of our president, our beloved maritime researcher, Dr. Dipl. Ing. Friedrich Heisswasser made a daring exploring expedition around Plakias, Crete. The stretcher of our legendary researcher at his swimming pool stayed most of the time entirely empty. Not a sign of life, nothing.



Copyright © FVWWD

Empty stretcher of Dr. Dipl. Ing Heisswasser, Mirthios, Crete.

But in the mean time, the hard labour of our maritime resarcher worked out fine. A healthy divespot with great prospects revealed itself to him. A rich and divers maritime life. With an abundance of several species of scorpionfish and plenty of cocktail ingredients. This spectacular result cheered up the headquarters of the FVWWD office with laughter and delight. A new milestone was reached. The enthusiastic crew of the dive-center in combination with the flora and fauna, made his exploration a resounding success. Quoting Dr.Heisswasser.. "I'm really flabbergasted that these kinds of little pearls still exists. The hospitality and engagement of the personel, the climate, the maritime life, all of this made my exploration a wonderful experience".


President visits Bonaire!

Kralendijk, Bonaire, June 14th, 2009, from our special reporter.

Our beloved President has visited the pretty island Bonaire, now still part of the Dutch Antilles, but later this year an official councel of the Kingdom of the Netherlands. Bonaire, with about 15.000 inhabitants, revealed itself to the President as a true warm water resort and divers paradise. The waters surrounding it are years ago promoted into a Marine Natural Park what resulted that marine life is present in abundance everywhere. Above that, the average water temperature is about 27 degrees Celcius, crystal clear and so ideal for a true warm water diver.



Restaurant Chibi Chibi, Kralendijk, Bonaire

But that Bonaire has seperated itself from the Dutch Antilles, was no surprise to the President. When he landed on Curacau straight from a direct(!) flight of Schiphol Airport for an addional transfer to Bonaire, all (hand)luggage had to be screened again for a second time. The President was very puzzled about the logic of this measure. At Schiphol Airport, when boarding, every item was thoroughly screened and also every passenger had to undergo a body scan. So what the hell they think they could find what couldn't be detected at Schiphol Airport? An enigma. It's seemed to the President as a 'monkey see, monkey do' business, with no thought behind it at all. Just bureaucrazy to keep people at 'work'. Whatever, also Bonarians have strange, stubborn habits. For example, serving red wine out straight out of the fridge. The President tried to explain to the employees of a restaurant, that red wine had to be served at 18 degrees Celsius, otherwise the taste will be dreadful. But this didn't help. When the president again visited the same restaurant, still the red wine was served at 4 degrees Celcius. And our President experienced more of these very strange and stubborn habits. Stupid or ignorance? You tell the President. At last a final word of the President himself when asking him about is judgement of this island. "Bonaire has the potential to grow in one of most respected warm water resorts ever. But general education must really be brought on a higher plan to reach this status!" True words from our President again...


 F.V.W.D.D. Course Director for the UK installed!
Malta, Sliema, September 5th, 2008, from our special reporter.

The F.V.W.W.D. is proud to announce that after a fierce but fair competition, the F.V.W.W.D. postition for Course Director in Great Britain finally has been filled in. After considerable talks between the Mr. Derek Chircop, Course Director Malta and Mr. Bill Eastwood, President of the F.V.W.W.D. and further thoroughly research of Dr. Dipl. Friedrich Heisswasser, Mr. Pete 'Terror' Nixon Esq., a man with hundreds of pure warm water dives and a good sense of humor, was honoured to take this daring and important position!



Mr. Pete 'Terror' Nixon, F.V.W.W.D. Course Director UK

Pete really hates cold water and always refuses to dive in a longsuit, even if a mean, rogue thermocline of 20 degrees Celcius tries to attack him. Only shorties will do for him, whatever happens. Comment of our new Course Director UK himself, "I hate cold water, I hate longsuits, I hate drysuits, I love warmth, I love beer, I love sunshine". A core F.W.W.D.D. opinion, a man of our hearts and minds!


President swims through a pile of shit and survives!
Malta, Grand Harbour, September 3th, 2008, from our special reporter.

Our beloved President had his first encounter with Tekkies. Tough guys, with a lot stages around their neck and a plenty of wetnotes to tell them which tap have to be turned at a particulary moment in time. Impressing stuff. It was however a pure coincidence that our President ended up with these tapturners who appearently don't give a shit about the circumstances they dive. And this is also the beginning of our story.

Our President wanted to dive an E-boat in Marsascala bay. This Italian M.A.S. boat - the Italian version of the famous German 'Schnellboot' - was so stupid to run on one of is own mines when laying these high explosives in the warm waters of Malta during WWII. Interesting dive though, because up till now, this boat isn't actually identified.



M.A.S. 500 class vessel (Motoscafi Armati Siluranti or Motoscafi Anti Sommergibili)

But how things can change. A group of Tekkies wanted instead to dive on the Hellespont. *Yawn*. An old paddleship sunken in 1942 and resting at a depth of 42m by the entrance of the Grand Harbour. The President had dived this wreck before in 2006, and wasn't at all impressed what he saw down there. Murky waters, big pile of rubbish, accompanied with a low visibility. So, our President tried to change their minds and informed the Tekkies that they wouldn't see shit there.

But, how wrong he was!

While arriving at the divespot our President spotted already some rubbers floating at the surface. Not a positive sign. But it became even worse while descending into the blue. At a depth of 20m the water, our President suddenly hit a kind brownish yellow 'water', visibility zero. It appeared to be a massive layer of shit, caused by the exhaust of a sewer out there.



A layer of shit with some ingredients...

The result was devastating... The President lost contact with his buddies in this piss and had to decide to descend further alone. He was, literally, lost in shit. When he after a few minutes finally did hit the bottom at 39.8 meters, he found himself completely alone on the sea bed. No fish, no wreck, no one around. Shit. However, by means of his remarkable sense of navigation, the President did manage to find the wreck. After a swim of a couple of minutes he almost bumped into it! Arrived on the deck, or what was left of it, he did a second, but now more astonishing discovery; the first shit feeding tube worm ever recorded in action!



Copyright © FVWWD

The first picture of a feeding Excrementalitus Tubiculae! (Shitworm, Eng. - Strontworm, Ned.)

Afterwards, back on the surface, the Tekkies loudly announced that they never would dive there again and wanted to take a shower asap. Duh, a rather obvious statement. Our beloved President however, addressed the whole matter quite laconic, "It's true that Tekkies are strongly attracted to piss. Even in our Introduction Video, the associations with warm piss are unmistaken. Additionally, there are also verified stories of Tekkies who wet their drysuits with pee to get warm. So my friend, actually there's really nothing new under the sun...". Anyway, they've learned their lesson. Listen carefully to the opinions of FVWWD divers. They keep you out of the shit!


Dr. Dipl. Ing. Heisswasser visits Egypt...
Sharm el Sheikh, September 20th, 2007, an eye-witness report.

After a long absence our beloved maritime researcher payed once again a visit to Sharm el Sheikh. He reported mixed feelings about his trip. Dr. Heiswasser was stunned by the changes that had taken place in this warm water resort. First, he noticed an abundance grow of so-called U-turns. In contradiction to other places, Sharm has plenty of them. Normal crossings are very rare. Our reseacher spoke to a lot of people to find out the philosophy behind this phenomenon, but nobody could give him a satisfactory answer. Some further research in this field is certain necessary, but for now Dr. Heisswasser could only guess that normal crossings are not liked because they have a shape of a cross. Another fact that stroke him, was an abundance grow of security personel. They were everywhere. Even toilets where sometimes guarded. A big fart could alarm them, so a good shit could be a hazardous enterprise. Additionally, in the harbour metal-detector ports where placed in use. Every diver has to go through them. A very strange experience, because Dr. Heisswasser his knife was already on the boat, along with his other dive-gear. Above that, snifferdogs looking for explosives would make more sense if you really looking for 'diver-terrorists'. Dr. Heisswasser supposed that it all had to do with a kind of 'window dressing'. See, what we do to enforce security. Last, but not least, the diveguide by his once favourite dive club, was now replaced by a scout-master with an aura if he invented diving itself. This resulted that divers were treaten as a busload Japanese tourists, accomponied with a bunch of useless rules and even a corrupted attitude about how a buddy-system works.



A terrorized diver tries to oppose the scout-master

F.e. Dr. Heisswasser ended up with a regular customer. Beware of them. They reappear every year by the same club. The type of "I've seen it all", just ploughing into the blue, 5 meters above the coral, their eyes glued at the scout-master, with no interest at all for the diversity of sea-life or their buddy. Their only interest is making dive-time. For their log. This resulted in the strange experience that such a guy left Dr. Heiswasser, descended on his own and dared to complain by the scout-master that he was missing his 'buddy'. A complete moron. The basic rule that buddies always descend together, was not in his vocabulary. I didn't make part from his mindset either anymore. A real herd-animal. Brainfucked. To Dr. Heisswasser's astonishing surprise, afterwards he got himself - in public - all the heat from the scout-master. A dreadful and really humiliating experience. As long as such scouts are at 'work' there, Dr. Heisswasser now strongly recommend any member to avoid this dive club. Once, in 1995, Dr. Heiswasser had even led dives for this club. How things can change. Quoting Dr.Heisswasser.. "at that time an informal, professional and relaxed atmosphere prevailed. Divers were treated like well-trained individuals, not boy-scouts. But now it has become a kind of kindergarten, a waste of time that sucks out all the energy and fun you normally will get from diving. It's a f... excuse me, bloody shame".

How true...


President renews and strengthen Federation ties with Malta...
Malta, September 4th, 2006, from our local reporter.

Our beloved President Mr. Eastwood, has payed a visit to Malta to warm certain things up and to refresh the historical ties between the Amsterdam and Malta F.V.W.W.D. offices.



FVWWD HQ and Communication Center in Malta

The President was impressed by the progress the Maltese department has made. He met Jason 'Babyface' Bugibba, assistent Warm Water Instuctor of the FVWWD, but above all, a tough crimefighter especially assigned by the Maltese goverment to hunt down drysuit divers! Officier Jason explained his dedication as follows : " it's a bloody shame that such divers discredit the wellknown status of Malta as a true warm water resort by diving here in drysuits. They dishonour our beautiful country. No mercy at all for them'. The President admitted later to our reporter that 'he did find the statement of Officer Jason rather cruel, but he couldn't have said it any better...."



Officer Jason with our honourable President


 FVWWD specialty for troubled actress!
Hollywood, June 11th, 2006, from our local reporter.

The F.V.W.W.D. has offered soap actress Jessica Alba a free training course to get rid of horny dolphins, which she gladly accepted. Last summer poor Jessica was scuba diving when a group of dolphins tried to gangbang her. She told our reporter " I turn dolphins on... I didn't know this until I was being poked by a few of them, which was very rude... I don't know if anybody knows this but dolphins get excited, even when you are a human being - and they have long, long... (penises) I think I learned my lesson. I sort of request female dolphins after that because those are horny little bitches. Additionally I will follow the Mammal Diving specialty course by your organisation. I'm looking forward to it!"



Human Being Hollywood Star, Jessica Alba


A Sensational Lite Rebreather snorkel..!
Australia, May 5th, 2005, from an unknown FVWWD fan.

The maritime department of the F.V.W.W.D. has developed in full cooperation with her department in Australia (GUDC) the Lite Rebreather Snorkel Pro. This extraordinary device, fully according the Europian standard EN 14159, is Semi Closed Circuit Snorkel (SCCS). Oxygen what isn't used by the user will be rebreathed, the CO, CO2 and bad breath is then released without any effort in the surrounding water. Revolutionary and simpel!



The first Semi Closed Circuit Lite Rebreather Snorkel (SCCLRS)

Here you see an extremely courageous and loyal F.V.W.W.D. rookie member named Brian (GUDC) demonstrating our State of The Art, Dual Barrel-Isolation Manifold-Oxygen Compatible-Trimix Ready, Tech Diver Snorkel. Early trials showed an increase of 50% more snorkel time underwater! Also the bottom time went up significantly. However, some snorkelers stayed more time underwater then they could handle. Due to that fact, Tech Certification in using this device is a prerequisite to purchase. The FVWWD is willing to currently taking deposits for courses starting Spring 2006. Bottom retail price.....199 Euro! Training course, FVWWD-SCCLRS Specialty Instructor, due to some unfortunate accidents, 400 Euro.


Drama hits the Federation... President slowly recovering!
Amsterdam, February 29th, 2004, from our local reporter.

It's been long speculation for some time and a well kept secret, but now it's finally revealed why people didn't hear much from the F.V.W.W.D last year. Due to all kinds of physical discomfort, the management of the F.V.W.W.D couldn't dive at all! The President fell off his bike and did torn both of his anklebands in the bloody act. Our unlucky President could hardly walk for months... Besides that, our beloved researcher Dr. Dipl. Ing. Friedrich Heisswasser, was diagnosed with cataract in both his eyes! He still has to undergo a corrective operation - scheduled in autumn this year - where he will receive some plastic implants. Finally, talking about implants, our lovely voice in this rude world, the adored Carry Claypounder was diagnosed with a leaking breast a couple of weeks ago. Another setback. Poor girl. But there is also some good news! Dr. Heisswasser has concluded a new daring experiment that will be published soon and also Gill Bates , the whizoldy of the Federation, will make some new software available on this site in the nearby future.


President Mr. B. Eastwood discovers giant cave...
Laganas, Zakynthos, September 6th, 2002, from our local reporter

This year our beloved President had a fortnight diving-holiday at one of the Greece isles, Zakynthos, also known by the local name Zante. Due to heavy rain and little sunshine the water temperature was a near call for our President. 'The water temperature sometimes just dropped below 25 degrees Celcius, but with the warmth of the lovely hostesses of the dive club and their fair coffee prices, I got just warmed up enough to go diving ! ' according to our beloved President. During one of his dive trips the President discovered a new giant cave. Sweet water, dripping through the rocks and mixing with salt water formed a white layer at the ceiling of the cave and had turned the inside of the cave into a spectacular scene. Unfortunately our President didn't have any time left to explore the cave thoroughly. But the staff of the dive-club - also candidate warm water divers - promised to do this job for the F.V.W.W.D. the coming weeks. If the dive-site becomes a regular place to dive, the name of the cave will be called 'Willems Cave', to honor our president for his daring research. If the Greek authorities will oppose this name, they soon will experience the strength and might of the Federation !



President at entrance of 'Willems Cave', Zakynthos, Greece


 President Mr. B. Eastwood addresses Greek authorities...
Laganas, Zakynthos, September 2nd, 2002, from our local reporter

One of the first things that struck the president on his arrival, was the lack of coffee on the Isle of Zakynthos. 'This commodity must be very elusive, otherwise I can't explain the phenomenal price of app. 2.75 Euro for just one humble cup of espresso on this island', explained our President. Although Greece is a full member of the EC, the Greek goverment and local authorities have strange opinions how to fill-in this membership. As a mass receiver of European money, foreign enterprises are often still victim of serious harassment. A bloody scandal. Also the local dive-club where the president dived, experienced this despicable behaviour. All foreign diving-licenses of the staff were once rated at an advanced (2-star) diver-level, so that they the club couldn't give guidance and courses. Furthermore, local authorities banned nightdives and wreckdives. What's more, the river police and coastguard take the extraordinary view that people should serve rather than the other way round. Fining people under totally ridiculous national laws that conflict with EEC legislation. Really very, very sad for a country that claims to have invented democracy. In this context, our President was truly impressed by the tremendous effort that the management of the dive-club has taken and still does, to fight this bare injustice and not give in. Although it is not the policy of the F.V.W.W.D to name dive-clubs, for once our organisation will make an exception. According to our President, Adventure Diving needs all the support it can get to teach the Greek authorities a lesson of the real European spirit. So, dive with them !