FEDERATION of VERY WARM WATER DIVERS

A male looks at a woman as follows:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
   
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
   
3. The message 'Bad command or file name' is about as informative as 'If you don't know why I'am mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you.'
   
4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
   
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

However, a female look at men this way :

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
   
2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
   
3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
   
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
   
5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
   

Behaviour of the Sea Needle (Asslogis Kuijs Extravaganta)

Action	Numbers	Special Remarks
Frequency of taking cover	25 times/hour	none
Same ass hole	17 times	none
Reaction cucumber	restless 7 times	tried to swim away
Average time spent in ass	1'33 m/s	by great danger longer
Type of entry	backwards 24 times	1 occurance forwards